Stay
by Kathysweet
Summary: When one is broken and no longer feels the need to live, the other shows him that he matters. But who was actually the one who did the saving? The broken one or the savior?


**I don't own durarara.**

**Warning: yaoi (boyxboy)**

**This isn't really a song fic I was just inspired by it and by these parts of the songs I wrote down.**

**Both pov (as always).**

**A/N: I know I posted this yesterday, but I found some mistakes and other problems and fixed them. It was bothering me, anyway onto write a new chapter for Soul Mates. Thank you for all who read/comment/favorite this story, it makes me happy.**

* * *

_Not really sure how to feel about it_

_Something in the way you move_

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you_

_It takes me all the way_

_I want you to stay_

* * *

He had been broken.

When he found him, he had been clinging to the scraps of sanity that still had a hold of him.

Before he came around, the darkness kept dragging and dragging him further to what he called his own personal hell. The place where blood stained his being and the meaning of life seemed pointless.

Living became harder.

He was sure that at any point he would break down both physically and mentally.

Then he came along.

At first he had been lost on how he was supposed to feel about his help, he wondered if that was because he had grown numb.

Like a life line he had grabbed a hold of him and made sure he was safe. He never questioned what had changed.

He had never looked so bright to him.

It wasn't just his blond hair that made him shine, but the gestures he made and the way he stayed when everyone had turned their back to him.

It fit him, the blond hair that is.

He remembered asking him once, when he was visiting, why he dyed his hair blond. He had smiled, a heart wrenching smile that made him want to hug him in hopes to soothe the pain away.

He didn't.

He was afraid of the thought of hurting him. It was silly to think a hug might hurt someone, especially someone like him, but he was still broken, it felt logical at the time.

The explanation was something he had never expected.

"To keep everyone away." he had said.

At that time he had not understood the full meaning of that answer.

The recovery wasn't easy. So many times he wanted to let the darkness win, to let it drag him and devour him whole.

No one would have cared he would tell himself.

He was wrong.

The blond cared, he would stay with him no matter how hard he pushed him away or how cruel he treated him.

He would just grab a hold of him and hug him for hours until he finally relented and embraced the warmth he gave him.

On the days the darkness would not let him go no matter what the blond did, he would have to be tied down for when he hurt himself. On those days all he could do was cry and ask the blond why he bothered helping him. It hadn't made any sense back then why the blond would help, especially since their past was reckless and he caused him so much heart ache.

He didn't deserve it.

The blond would shake his head and grab his hand, squeezing it slightly, and give him a radiant smile.

"You deserve this and so much more" was the respond he always got.

After months of trying to recover and having many set backs, the old him started to break through the darkness and each day the light got closer.

Even so he rarely went outside and preferred to stay home to wait for the blond to come.

They had become closer, to the point that he was afraid of what he might do if the blond left him. He was sure that if he did, the darkness would come back and this time he would not survive.

He told him that once and the blond asked him what exactly he meant by that.

"That you are the reason I live for." he told the blond.

The blond stayed quiet for a while, then went closer to him, placing his hand on his chest where his heart was beating loudly. His eyes met his and finally he said: "Promise me that you will start living for only you." With that the blond got up and left before he could even ask him what he meant by that.

He had felt cold that day and barely slept.

Watching the rain fall from the window, the coldness he felt kept spreading making it harder for him to breathe. His need to see the blond became his reason to start breathing once more.

He didn't think, just went.

Running all the way to the blonds place, he was completely soaked to the bone once he had made it to his apartment. Banging at the door frantically, the blond opened it first angry at the noise, then shocked at who was in front of him.

Before he could talk, he launched himself and clinged to his life line.

"W-wha-" the blond began, but he quickly interrupted.

The words the blond had told him had scared, he was afraid that it meant the blonds departure from his life.

"Stay" he sobbed.

He repeated and repeated it like mantra to the gods.

Stay.

Stay.

_STAY!_

The blond eventually wrapped his arms around him, encasing him in warmth that pushed the coldness away and let him breath with ease once more.

"What makes you think I could ever leave you?" the blond asked, arms squeezing him closer.

"What you said in my apartment... You said it cause you are leaving me, right?" he answered shyly, his hands grabbing a hold of the blonds fabric harder, afraid that the blond would slip away.

The blond let out a chuckle that sounded dark to his ears. He didn't answer right away, the blond first brought him inside his house to dry off. After he changed into some of the blonds clothes, he sat in the couch with a cup of hot chocolate that the blond had made him to warm up. The blond sat next to him in the couch and he made sure to sit close to him, still afraid that he would leave.

"I don't deserve to be the reason you live for or to have your love, I'm a monster." the blond finally answered, he didn't look at him while spoke. He told him how eventually he would hurt him, because that was his nature. The blond told him that's why everyone should stay away from him.

He looked at the blond and shook his head, putting his cup down he grabbed the blonds hand, the hand that had been gentle and never once hurt him.

He squeezed it tightly and for the first time since the darkness had become dormant, he smiled.

A radiant smile and said.

"Shizuo, you deserve this and more."

* * *

_Ohhh the reason I hold on_

_Ohhh cause I need this hole gone_

_Funny you're the broken one but i'm the only one who needed saving_

_Cause when you never see the lights it's hard to know which one of us is caving_

* * *

The brunette thought he had saved him.

He had found the brunette one day, when he was trying to find out what he was up to, and he was practically dead.

It was shocking to him to see the once confident and annoying brunette curled up in the bed looking like a skeleton with skin.

No, he had not intended to go there and _save him_.

He had thought that the brunette was up to no good, and to stop him before he caused any damage, he had gone to his apartment.

Concern, but mostly pity, made him stay with brunette.

He remembered how he had asked those who were _close _to the brunette where he was, and they would just brushed the question off with a shrug or simple "I don't know".

He reminded him of himself.

He knew that if he had been in the same situation the responds would be the same. His brother would only find out after he probably died since they didn't talk as much, the same with the brunettes family.

Without asking why the brunette had become like this, he stayed.

It was difficult, the smaller man was difficult.

He claimed he didn't need his help, but his action spoke other wise.

The more he went to him, the more comfortable he got of him and the brunette eventually started to speak to him more.

The first time he really spoke to him was in a question. He asked him why he chose to go blond.

It was simple really, it made him stand out and it gave him a "don't get close" sort of air.

When he answered him, the brunette looked at him with eyes that seemed to understand him a bit. He never told anyone why, but he found it easy to tell him.

Being away from the brunette during his recover was hard, scary.

Some days the brunette would insult and try to push him, but those days were easy to calm him down. It was on the days that the brunette could not run away from the darkness that made it hard for him to recover. It might have seemed cruel to tie the brunette up on those days, but it was the only way to stop him from hurting himself when he was away.

Those days were the most painful for the both of them, watching him cry and say he was not worth his kindness was heart breaking.

Sure in the past he had made his life hell, but this... this made him see who the brunette really was.

To answer his questions, he would grab his hand and squeeze it tightly.

As he smiled he told him.

"You are worth this and more."

They became closer as months passed by and the brunette started to act like his old self, still he kept a sweetness that made him want to stay with the smaller man forever.

The way the brunette trusted him and seemed to believe that in his arms he was safe, made him a bit uncomfortable. As he saw it being in his arms was never safe, he was destructive and the brunette was delicate.

When the brunette told him that if he ever left he might not survive, he asked what he meant by that, and he had been surprised by the response he got.

"That you are the reason I live for." he had said.

It broke his heart to hear him say that. He knew he would eventually hurt him, he always hurt those close to him.

The only thing that kept him from running away from the brunette was that he was not completely recovered from the darkness that haunts him.

Still he wanted the brunette to promise him something if he ever did leave. Moving close to the him, he placed his hand where the brunettes heart pounded loudly.

"Promise me that you will start living for only you." he didn't want the brunette to question him, so he had gotten up and left.

Once he got home he had fallen asleep early, not wanting to think about anything.

He was awaken in the middle of the night by the loud pounding in his door, angry he went to answer only to find a soaked brunette.

"W-wha-" he didn't get to finish since the brunette hugged him and interrupted him with one word; stay.

He repeated it over and over in despair, almost afraid that he would say no.

Stay.

_Of course..._

Stay.

_I will..._

STAY!

_Forever._

He didn't say it out loud, but his response was what he truly desired.

Noticing his state once more, he brought him inside his apartment to dry off. Once the brunette changed into his clothes and drank something warm. He asked him:

"What makes you think I could ever leave you?"

"What you said in my apartment... You said it cause you are leaving me, right?" the brunette answered softly, he laughed darkly.

He was right.

"I don't deserve to be the reason you live for or to have your love, I'm a monster." he answered honestly. He told him how he would eventually hurt him and about everything he feared.

In return the brunette did the unexpected. He grabbed his hand squeezed it tightly and with a radiant smile he had never seen before, he said the words he had told him when he was completely broken.

"You deserve this and much more."

With out thinking he kissed the brunette, pouring his gratitude and love into that one kiss.

He kissed him back.

The reality of this situation was, that the one who actually saved someone was the brunette, not him.

Izaya had saved him.

* * *

**I was listening to Rihanna's new song feat. Mikky Ekko and well this just came to me. Doesn't really have anything to do with the song. The song is called Stay hence the name.**


End file.
